Writing Clear Sentences · 写出清晰的句子
Decide the relationship, then choose the structure
- Most unclear sentences are not grammatical failures — they are ranking failures.
- Two ideas were joined without a decision about which one mattered more.
- Decide the relationship first, and the structure follows.
Two ideas squeezed into one sentence still need to know which one walks through the door first.
先确定关系,再选择结构
- 多数不清晰的句子并非语法失误——而是排序失误。
- 两个观念被连在一起,却没有就哪一个更重要作出决定。
- 先确定关系,结构自然随之而来。
两个观点挤进同一句话，也得先商量好谁先进门。
Which structure to use
- If two ideas genuinely carry equal weight, coordinate them.
- If one is a concession and the other your point, subordinate the concession.
- Put your point in the independent clause, where the emphasis falls.
该用哪种结构
- 如果两个观念确实分量相当,就把它们并列。
- 如果其中一个是让步、另一个是你的要点,就把让步从属化。
- 把你的要点放进独立分句,重心落在那里。
Your own point belongs in the... · 你自己的观点应置于...
The independent clause is the emphatic position; subordinating your point concedes it. · 独立分句是强调的位置；将你的观点从属化即等于放弃它。
Ending on the word that matters
- The end of a sentence is its second emphatic position.
- A sentence that ends on a qualification buries its own point.
- A sentence that ends on the point leaves the reader holding it.
以要紧的那个词收尾
- 句子的末尾是它的第二个强调位置。
- 以限定语收尾的句子,把自己的要点埋掉了。
- 以要点收尾的句子,则把要点留在读者手里。
What has this sentence got wrong? · 这个句子哪里写错了？
Diagnose each sentence by its ranking failure. · 根据每个句子的排序失败点进行分析。
The end of a sentence is a position of emphasis. · 句末是一个强调的位置。
A sentence that ends on a qualification buries its own point. · 以限定语结尾的句子会埋没其核心观点。
Match each relationship to the structure that expresses it. · 将每种关系与其表达结构匹配。
Decide the relationship first; the structure is then determined. · 先确定关系，再决定结构。
Subordinating your own point concedes your argument by accident. "Although the results are clear, the programme is expensive" ranks the cost above the result — which is almost certainly the opposite of what the writer meant.
把你自己的要点从属化,等于意外地让出了论证。*"尽管结果很清楚,这个项目代价高昂"*把成本排在了结果之上——这几乎肯定与写作者的本意相反。
Select all · 所有 the ranking failures this lesson names. · 选择本课提到的所有排序失败类型。
A semicolon is a tool, not a failure — it coordinates. · 分号是一种工具，而非错误——它用于连接并列关系。
Three ranking failures
- Coordinating a concession with your point — the reader cannot tell which you mean.
- Subordinating your own point — you conceded your argument by accident.
- Stacking three subordinate clauses before the main one — the reader arrives exhausted.
三种排序失误
- 把让步与你的要点并列——读者分不清你想说哪一个。
- 把你自己的要点从属化——你意外地把自己的论证让了出去。
- 在主句之前堆三个从属分句——读者到达时已经筋疲力尽。
For a two-part sentence, ask which half you would keep if you could keep only . · 对于由两部分组成的句子，问自己：如果只能保留，你会保留哪一半？
That half belongs in the independent clause. · 这一半应放在独立分句中。
A sentence check
- For any two-part sentence, ask: which half would I keep if I could keep only one?
- That half belongs in the independent clause.
- If the answer is "both equally", coordinate — and check that you meant it.
句子检查
- 对任何两部分的句子都问:如果只能保留一半,我会保留哪一半?
- 那一半应当放在独立分句里。
- 如果答案是"两半同样重要",就用并列——并检查你是否真的这么想。
Meant: the results matter more. Written: "Although the results are clear, the programme is expensive." Fixed: "Although the programme is expensive, the results are clear." One swap, and the sentence now says what the writer meant.
本意:结果更重要。写成:*"尽管结果很清楚,这个项目代价高昂。"改为:"尽管这个项目代价高昂,结果很清楚。"*只调换一次,这个句子就说出了写作者的本意。
Decide the relationship before the structure. Coordinate genuine equals, subordinate the concession, and put your point in the independent clause. End on the word that matters, and check any two-part sentence by asking which half you would keep.
在选择结构之前先确定关系。真正对等的就并列,把让步从属化,并把你的要点放进独立分句。以要紧的那个词收尾,并对任何两部分的句子都问一句:你会保留哪一半?