Revising a Thesis in Practice · 实践中的论点修订
Two minutes that save an essay
- Before writing, list your claims and check each one against the evidence you actually have.
- Any claim your evidence cannot reach comes out now, not in paragraph four.
- The thesis is then written to cover exactly what is left.
A claim with no supporting source is a guest whose name is missing from the seating plan.
挽救一篇文章的两分钟
- 动笔前,列出你的各项主张,并逐一对照你实际拥有的证据。
- 凡是证据够不到的主张,现在就剔除,而不是等到第四段。
- 然后写出的论点,恰好覆盖所剩下的内容。
没有材料支持的论点，就像一位在座位表上找不到名字的客人。
Put the pre-writing steps in order. · 将预写步骤按正确顺序排列。
Two minutes of this saves a paragraph of damage later. · 这花不了两分钟，却能避免后续一个段落的损失。
Writing the narrowed version
- Add the ground the claim actually holds on: in these cases, for this group, where X applies.
- The narrowed thesis is still arguable — narrowing is not hedging.
- "Where funding depends on scores" is a condition, not a retreat.
写出收窄后的版本
- 加上这项主张实际成立的范围:在这些情形中、对这一群体而言、在 X 适用之处。
- 收窄后的论点仍然可辩护——收窄不是含糊其辞。
- "在经费取决于分数之处"是一个条件,不是一次退却。
Narrowing or hedging? · 缩小范围还是含糊其辞？
Sort each revised thesis by whether it still says something. · 根据修订后的论点是否仍有所表达进行排序。
Narrowing a thesis means... · 缩小论点意味着...
A narrowed thesis is still arguable; hedging says nothing at all. · 缩小的论点仍可辩论；含糊其辞则什么都没说。
Changing the reasoning too
- The CED says new evidence may require changes to the line of reasoning, not only the thesis.
- If the thesis narrows, the order of your claims may need to change with it.
- A narrowed thesis with the old paragraph order often no longer has a path.
推理也要跟着改
- CED 指出新证据可能要求改变推理线索,而不只是论点。
- 如果论点收窄了,你各项主张的顺序也可能需要随之改变。
- 收窄后的论点若配上原来的段落顺序,往往就不再有路径可言。
Revising the thesis may also require changing the line of reasoning. · 修改论点也可能需要调整论证思路。
The CED names both; a narrowed thesis with the old paragraph order often has no path. · CED同时提及两者；若采用旧段落顺序，缩窄后的论点往往缺乏支撑路径。
Narrowing is not hedging. "Where funding depends on test scores, this happens" states a condition and remains arguable. "This may sometimes possibly happen in certain cases" states nothing — one is precision and the other is retreat.
收窄不是含糊其辞。"在经费取决于考试分数之处,这种情况会发生"陈述了一个条件,并且仍然可辩护。"这在某些情形下可能有时或许会发生"什么也没陈述——一个是精确,另一个是退却。
Select all · 所有 the benefits of a narrowed, qualified thesis. · 选择所有缩窄且限定性论点的优势。
Length is irrelevant; precision is what earns the sophistication point. · 篇幅无关紧要；精准度才是赢得“精准度”得分的关键。
Revision is not weakness
- A narrowed, qualified thesis is harder to defeat and easier to defend.
- It is also the most reliable route to the sophistication point.
- The essay that hedges everywhere and the essay that qualifies precisely look different to a reader.
修正不是软弱
- 收窄并加以限定的论点更难被击倒,也更容易辩护。
- 它同时是通往思辨深度那一分最可靠的路径。
- 处处含糊的文章与精确加以限定的文章,在读者眼中是不同的。
Check a revised thesis by reading it against your ____ body paragraph. · 通过阅读你的____主体段落来检查修订后的论点是否一致。
If that paragraph defends something narrower, the thesis has not caught up. · 如果该段落辩护的内容比论点更窄，说明论点尚未跟上节奏。
A final pass
- Read your thesis and then your last body paragraph, with nothing in between.
- Does the paragraph still defend that sentence? It should.
- If it defends something narrower, your thesis has not caught up with your own essay.
最后一遍
- 读一遍你的论点,再读最后一个主体段落,中间什么也不读。
- 那一段是否仍在为这句话辩护?应当是。
- 如果它辩护的是更窄的东西,那你的论点还没有跟上你自己的文章。
Thesis after the evidence: "Where a school's funding depends on its test scores, standardised testing changes what is taught before it changes what is learned." Narrow, conditional, and still something a reasonable person could dispute.
根据证据修改后的论点:*"在学校经费取决于考试分数之处,标准化考试改变教什么的速度,快于它改变学到什么。"*收窄、有条件,而且仍然是一个通情达理的人可以争辩的东西。
List your claims and cut the ones your evidence cannot reach before writing the thesis. Narrow by stating the ground the claim holds on, change the line of reasoning with it, and check by reading the thesis against your last body paragraph.
在写论点之前,先列出各项主张并剔除证据够不到的那些。通过说明主张成立的范围来收窄,让推理线索随之改变,并通过把论点与最后一个主体段落对照来检查。